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maandag 24 april 2017

Interview met Dan

Dan Interviews Dan About Beer Blogs & Blogging in General
Dan:  Dan, you’re a self-proclaimed “beer blogger”.  In your opinion, what makes a good blog, beer or otherwise?

Dan: Thank you for asking that personally frustrating and almost certainly alienating question.  It reminds me of that quasi self-deprecating scene from Showtime’s Californication (a.k.a. Sex and the City for men), where David Duchovny’s character, Hank Moody, the drinking, womanizing, troubled novelist suffering from writer’s block, is being interviewed by a radio show host played by the great Henry Rollins when the topic of blogging pops up.

Seeing as how you are me, you probably remember it too.

Dan:  Yeah, that’s where I got the idea to interview you/us about blogging in the first place, but in the interest of not leaning on the fourth wall too much, refresh my memory.

Radio Show Host: What’s your latest obsession?
Hank Moody: Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it’s really given us is Howard Dean’s aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People… they don’t write anymore, they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it’s just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people in a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King’s English.
Radio Show Host: Yet you’re part of the problem, I mean you’re out there blogging with the best of them.
Hank Moody: Hence my self-loathing.
Dan:  So I take it you changed your blogging format to conform to the norm?

Dan: I tried.  I tried to compromise at least.  I thought maybe I could limit my posts to about a page, add some pictures, videos, interviews, interactive crap, maybe write up some top-ten style pieces.  I just couldn’t bring myself to schlock together some witty, two-sentence brain fart about something shiny that caught my eye in the beer universe, or self-righteously bestow some brilliant beer truth on par with what you’d find inside a fortune cookie just to pander to the lowest common denominator (LCD) or fit some pre-determined format of what a blog is “supposed” to be.
Dan:  By the way, do you like how I set you up to pay a self-serving, contrived compliment to your supposed audience?

Dan: By the way, do you like having me answer your questions so that I provide content for your so-called blog instead of you doing the hard work of coming up with original thoughts of your own?

Dan:  Point taken.  I noticed you kind of did a little space-filling/thought outsourcing yourself with that long quote you copied and pasted from Californication earlier.

Dan: I was being ironical.

Dan:  Very clever.  Getting back to what makes a good beer blog.  Enlighten me.

Dan: Well, you have to have at least one of two things, but preferably both: new, interesting information about anything beer, and/or an interesting perspective.  That’s the secret formula to infotainment.
Also, two clichés come to mind: “content is king”, and “quality over quantity”.  As a blogger, you have to ask yourself what type of content you want to create: original content or meta-content (commentary about original content).  This is often the difference between someone who’s a writer and someone who’s a critic, although sometimes you’re both.  That said, if you’re not personally adding something meaningful and moving the beer conversation forward at least a little bit, you should stick to tweets, facebook, or Untappd posts.  Even Jack Dorsey, co-creator of Twitter, explained tweets as “a short burst of inconsequential information.” As a writer, you’re supposed to be doing something more than conveying inconsequential information.  You’re supposed to challenge the status quo, present original content, and inspire people to be critical.
Or not.  Maybe you stop fighting the losing battle and go the other route, sell out, and live by the law of “tl;dr” (too long; didn’t read) and D.I.D. (Dumb It Down).  Contributing to the delinquency of minors is small-time.  Contributing to the delinquency of everyone? … Now we’re talking!  Forget microblogs.  Even nanoblogging is pushing the attention span envelope.  Consider limiting your posts to either one word, an abbreviation, or simply an emoticon.  But remember, video is the new preferred medium, so start making video clips (the shorter the better), dump blogging, and become a vlogger.  Learn some basic editing in Windows Movie Maker if you’re a PC, or start with iMovie on Mac, then work your way up to FCPX (Final Cut Pro X).  Don’t be scurred, all of this editing software is relatively idiot-proof.  While you’re at it, don’t forget to vote “YES” on Prop 22 so that we can finally replace all English teachers with digital arts instructors!
Cast the widest net possible and pander, pander, pander to the LCDs.  Still not happy with your Google Analytics stats?  You’re clearly not lowbrow enough.  But you don’t have to take my word for it. Remember what Jay Z said in his “Moment of Clarity”, and I quote, “I dumb down for my audience, and double my dollars”.  Case in point: not only is Mr. Z saying this in a song directly to his fans (implying that they’re dumb), but the album where he said it, The Black Album, was his top selling recording of the 2000s!  Even the statistics point to Hova’s success at dumbing it down and pandering to those wading in the shallow end of the intelligence pool, ....
Dan:  I’m confused.  Are you saying you’re a blogger or not?

Dan: While I call myself a beer and drinking blogger, that’s almost certainly a misnomer, and I’ve probably shot myself in the literary foot by misappropriating the term.  Rightfully so, blogging often has this “highly disposable”, basically “cheap” connotation associated with it.  I’m sorry, but if you’re blogging multiple times a day or week with little to no time to revise and edit, can you really be saying anything that profound?  Probably not.  A lot of serial bloggers get disillusioned when they realize this.
For an increasingly voyeuristic society, I can understand the allure of reading someone’s online diary, if that’s what blogging is supposed to be.  Let’s face it though, most people’s average day-to-day simply isn’t that interesting.  But that’s not really what I do.  I write blarticles.  This “interview” is as close to introspective self-analysis for public spectacle as I get.

Dan:  This might be a sort of douchey question, but are you interviewing yourself to make yourself seem important? Couldn’t find anyone better to interview you?

Dan: Those were technically two douchey questions.  Not to mention, this was your idea in the first place.  But if you think about it, the idea of writing an “online diary” is a bit disingenuous, or at best a contradiction in terms.  Besides, writing a diary is for twelve-year-old girls to sulk about how their parents were mean to them, or what boy they have a crush on, which can all then later be parlayed into a pants-dropping, 15 minutes of shame at a Mortified event.  Now journaling, that’s for adults.
But I think your questions are missing the point: this whole manufactured, phoney baloney interview is just a meta-tastic satire of blogging in the form of a blog in an attempt to break on through the fifth wall.

Dan:  Touché.  So what do you do when you run out of interesting beer stuff to write about?

Dan: Interviews. (

Okee, dus ik zou dit blog wat dommer moeten maken, en mijn teksten beter nabewerken. Of overschakelen naar youtube. Aangezien ik mijn gezicht niet op internet wil, ga ik dat laatste niet doen. En ook dommer maken van teksten of het eindeloos nabewerken ervan lijkt mij niet zo fijn. Ik schrijf vooral voor mezelf, maar kan natuurlijk wel streven om  That’s the secret formula to infotainment: new, interesting information about anything beer, and/or an interesting perspective.  

Dus ik moet op zoek naar interessante informatie over bier en dat dan brengen vanuit een interessant perspectief. Wellicht een interview met een bier?

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